Think Logical
"You are what you think, You do what you think in the simplest ways"Monday, September 28, 2009
Mushroom Cloud
Difficulties come in various packages, sets, boxes and other cases. I have to admit, I've accepted much of these as far as I can remember. It's okay. They come with a lesson you'll always remember. But it seem to give me some kind of, enervation that's unbearable. A tiredness you want to shout out. A fatigue making you want to say "I finally give up". But no. Every time that dialogue comes to me, I always remember what I believe in. What God wants for me. I may not be perfect, but that's not an excuse for me to look at myself as if I'm just a useless and ugly and dirty child that doesnt deserve to live his life. He knows me, and he loves me. I wont give up because I know I'm strong. I know I can take over all of these bullets. I know I'm brave enough. I know he loves me and I love him very much. Everything was once made with a reason. Nothing useless, nothing unbearable. We're unique in different ways and that's what amazes me.
/Lance Arev.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Intimate Hatred
Antonia, in short, is the new born. She felt the best for her. She felt a good feeling from herself. Everything was perfect and now it's time to put everything to the next level. A blond with green eyes. A girl with the normal life. Contented and isolated from the generation.
It's a new world and Antonia had started the week in her same school. Everybody knows her for she was a good student, not a great one. She was pretty, not beautiful. She was friendly, not popular. No more wounded words. Antonia, she once liked a new guy in her class. The guy was new, the guy was fresh. He was your typical boy who loved being with his boys. Having the name, Harold, Antonia had been admiring his personality. Weeks of activities, this little girl had some chances to be with him to gain participation. They were never been friends, just school mates. Everything had started. For short, Antonia suddenly fell for the naive boy. She didnt know why, she didnt know how, she didnt know how it started. Antonia started to have sleepless nights and has been staring at the walls for hours. She knew she was in love with him. But a question came. "How in the world would I be in love with someone who doesnt know me?" she asked. She thought for a moment. She didnt have anyone to talk about this. Even if she did, it wasnt enough for her. Is this really love for her? If it isnt, then what is this? "He's often been running in my head making me tell myself that I should go to school just to see him." she thought. Seeing something that has a potential is hard to let go. She has been staring at him when she would see him at the halls. With that simple gesture, she had felt a different kind of joy. A joy that made her day. She never thought of telling him what he felt, she just showed it with the little ways she could do. She was happy with that. There was time that Harold has been noticing her and looked pretty annoyed. He got the confidence with his friends and started to talk about that the Miss Antonia is liking him. Antonia's name has been crushed because of Harold. Harold in short, was playing with Antonia. He talked about her because he wanted to make fun of her because of her face after the sleepless nights, that she was desprate for him, how silly she talks and making her some silly names. Harold didnt like Antonia. Antonia has been alone since then. Her group seems to find another group. She didnt like it. She hated it. She just fell in love and now this is what she gets. Antonia has been alone. It was her decision sometimes beacuse she wanetd to have some time to think. She could recall every word that has been on her from Harold. She felt desprate for the one she once loved, is ruining her life. She couldnt go back because she loved him very much. She couldnt go forward for he was crushing her life. She pursues to be stable. As stable as a rock.
Now, Antonia is frozen. She doesnt know what to do, and when to do it.
"I'm in love with someone who had never loved me and had always hurt me."
It's a new world and Antonia had started the week in her same school. Everybody knows her for she was a good student, not a great one. She was pretty, not beautiful. She was friendly, not popular. No more wounded words. Antonia, she once liked a new guy in her class. The guy was new, the guy was fresh. He was your typical boy who loved being with his boys. Having the name, Harold, Antonia had been admiring his personality. Weeks of activities, this little girl had some chances to be with him to gain participation. They were never been friends, just school mates. Everything had started. For short, Antonia suddenly fell for the naive boy. She didnt know why, she didnt know how, she didnt know how it started. Antonia started to have sleepless nights and has been staring at the walls for hours. She knew she was in love with him. But a question came. "How in the world would I be in love with someone who doesnt know me?" she asked. She thought for a moment. She didnt have anyone to talk about this. Even if she did, it wasnt enough for her. Is this really love for her? If it isnt, then what is this? "He's often been running in my head making me tell myself that I should go to school just to see him." she thought. Seeing something that has a potential is hard to let go. She has been staring at him when she would see him at the halls. With that simple gesture, she had felt a different kind of joy. A joy that made her day. She never thought of telling him what he felt, she just showed it with the little ways she could do. She was happy with that. There was time that Harold has been noticing her and looked pretty annoyed. He got the confidence with his friends and started to talk about that the Miss Antonia is liking him. Antonia's name has been crushed because of Harold. Harold in short, was playing with Antonia. He talked about her because he wanted to make fun of her because of her face after the sleepless nights, that she was desprate for him, how silly she talks and making her some silly names. Harold didnt like Antonia. Antonia has been alone since then. Her group seems to find another group. She didnt like it. She hated it. She just fell in love and now this is what she gets. Antonia has been alone. It was her decision sometimes beacuse she wanetd to have some time to think. She could recall every word that has been on her from Harold. She felt desprate for the one she once loved, is ruining her life. She couldnt go back because she loved him very much. She couldnt go forward for he was crushing her life. She pursues to be stable. As stable as a rock.
Now, Antonia is frozen. She doesnt know what to do, and when to do it.
"I'm in love with someone who had never loved me and had always hurt me."
/Lanbert V.A.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Turtle who fell in Love
Days had past and I've started to forget about you. It may hurt whenever I neglect you, but I know it's for the best.
Life has been the greatest and been an amazing journey from God. Love is really something, mysterious. Love at first sight is True, yet False. Making it false. After the scenario, I've totally revoked myself from such saying.
I've encountered it maybe. From you, actually. And from other human beings that seems to be or was important to me. Not that they're not today, but not like before. When this adrenaline somewhat, comes to you for a person, it gets you too much. Even more if you're the typical pathetic loser who hopes for communication from someone who doesn't know about your feelings. And I guess I'm one of them. I guess, there's a difference from loving someone who does not love you from who does not know you. But either way, for now, its not important. Love is like a new world. It's amazing at sight. It's amazing when you're in. New rules. New games. It's fun, but somewhat, you can't let go because in your thought, you belong. I believe that nothing lasts forever. And that typical feeling wont as well. I hate that I love you, but I just remind myself that hate wont last forever. And I smile.
It was 8 in the evening and I was still in school. For the record, my former Dad or whatever you want to call it, Picked me up. Friends said their goodbyes as they rushed to their cars. I just talked with the other friends I had in the campus. The rain was relaxing. You could stare at it and fly your minds to a different century. Dad arrived and I said my goodbyes and waved to them. This day was maybe the day that I realized I've stop thinking about you, shouting your name, praying for you, crying over you, etc.. I don't know if I'm sad, I don't know if I'm happy for the successful plan. A complicated devotion is something, complicated. But its just great. I've learned a lot from you, and I hope you learned something, just even a little from me. It's been a pleasure having you in my head, in my heart. You'll always be a perfect memory that I will always treasure forever and ever. I've loved you, and that wont vanish. That wont be forgotten. When I grow old, I will always remember the times I gave my love for you.
I was in the car. The car was cold and windows were icy. I wrote my name on it. Drew a heart and wrote your initials under the heart. "I'll love you forever, and ever." I whispered.
/Lance V.A.
Life has been the greatest and been an amazing journey from God. Love is really something, mysterious. Love at first sight is True, yet False. Making it false. After the scenario, I've totally revoked myself from such saying.
I've encountered it maybe. From you, actually. And from other human beings that seems to be or was important to me. Not that they're not today, but not like before. When this adrenaline somewhat, comes to you for a person, it gets you too much. Even more if you're the typical pathetic loser who hopes for communication from someone who doesn't know about your feelings. And I guess I'm one of them. I guess, there's a difference from loving someone who does not love you from who does not know you. But either way, for now, its not important. Love is like a new world. It's amazing at sight. It's amazing when you're in. New rules. New games. It's fun, but somewhat, you can't let go because in your thought, you belong. I believe that nothing lasts forever. And that typical feeling wont as well. I hate that I love you, but I just remind myself that hate wont last forever. And I smile.
It was 8 in the evening and I was still in school. For the record, my former Dad or whatever you want to call it, Picked me up. Friends said their goodbyes as they rushed to their cars. I just talked with the other friends I had in the campus. The rain was relaxing. You could stare at it and fly your minds to a different century. Dad arrived and I said my goodbyes and waved to them. This day was maybe the day that I realized I've stop thinking about you, shouting your name, praying for you, crying over you, etc.. I don't know if I'm sad, I don't know if I'm happy for the successful plan. A complicated devotion is something, complicated. But its just great. I've learned a lot from you, and I hope you learned something, just even a little from me. It's been a pleasure having you in my head, in my heart. You'll always be a perfect memory that I will always treasure forever and ever. I've loved you, and that wont vanish. That wont be forgotten. When I grow old, I will always remember the times I gave my love for you.
I was in the car. The car was cold and windows were icy. I wrote my name on it. Drew a heart and wrote your initials under the heart. "I'll love you forever, and ever." I whispered.
/Lance V.A.
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