Think Logical

I'm too confused. Confused with my family, with what I am, with my friends, with what I want, with what I'm supposed to be and a lot more that I could die through confusion right now but the biggest confusion is that, why am I alive? Why am I alive? God? Why? I dont have a freakin use in this earth. I do sins that I've tried to accomplish but goodness, what should I do? I admit, I sin and you may kill me through punishment. It was never enough for you right? It wasnt and for my punishment, I dont deserve to be happy anymore. I know, I GET IT NOW.

The thought of dying at anytime has never got off my head for months. What is happening to me? I dont deserve to live. I know that and someday, I know God will finally pull the trigger and that will be the start of my real spirit. Now? Nothing can make me happy. Not my family, friends, myself, I honestly dont know cause I'm not deserving to be happy cause I do bad things, I'm bad. I GET IT NOW. I SERIOUSLY GET IT NOW.

Just wish I was dead right now. It has been my biggest wish since everything came into place. Plus? No one cares.

Lance Albert